The renowned Christian Hip Hop singer Toby Mac, who last year lost his son at home for unknown reasons, said he had no plans to write a song about this, since many of his songs are based on events, but, the writing of this song titled “21 years” made him in one way or another to express the pain and sadness.
The loss of a child is one of the most devastating experiences any human being can face, and even more so for someone who has dedicated his life and career to proclaiming hope, faith, and joy in God. TobyMac has always been known for his energetic music, his positive lyrics, and his constant encouragement to trust God in every circumstance. However, this moment in his life forced him to confront grief in its rawest form, something that no preparation or spiritual maturity can completely shield us from.
The artist expresses through this song the promise of God the Father that one day we will be with Him, that his son is in the arms of God and that for the moment he is in his heart:
Is it just across the Jordan?
Or a city in the stars?
Are you singin’ with the angels?
Are you happy where you are?
Well, until this show is over
And you run into my arms
God has you in Heaven
But I have you in my heart
I have you in my heart
These words reflect questions that many believers ask when facing death. Where are our loved ones now? Are they at peace? Are they in the presence of God? The song does not attempt to provide theological explanations, but rather gives voice to the deep longing and aching love of a father who misses his son while holding onto the hope of eternity promised in Scripture.
In a recent publication Toby wrote:
«Writing this song felt like a sincere confession of the questions, the pain, the anger, the doubt, the mercy and the promise that describes the journey that I am probably just beginning. The rest is coming. One thing I know is that I am not alone. God did not promise us a life without pain or tragic death, but He promised that He would never abandon us or abandon us. And I am keeping that promise. both for my son and for me ».
These words reveal an important truth about the Christian walk: faith does not eliminate suffering. Even those who trust God deeply will experience pain, confusion, and moments of weakness. What faith does provide is the assurance that God walks with us through every valley, even when answers are absent and tears seem endless.
Although Toby has expressed that his heart is broken into a thousand pieces, he hopes that one day he will see his son in heaven. An event like this is very painful, but how good it is when we understand that nothing is the fault of God, but that it happened because God allowed it and we must accept what happened.
This perspective does not minimize the pain, but it helps believers anchor their grief in trust. Accepting God’s sovereignty does not mean suppressing sorrow; rather, it allows sorrow to coexist with hope. The Christian message has always been clear that death is not the end, and that reunion awaits those who place their faith in Christ.
Hopefully God will strengthen this family with his Holy Spirit.
May this song also serve as comfort to other parents and families who are walking through similar seasons of loss. Music, especially when born from genuine pain, has the power to heal hearts, unite believers, and remind us that even in the darkest moments, God remains close.